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#104758 - 02/24/13 12:48 AM Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP.
scarlette Offline
Member

Registered: 01/02/13
Posts: 1
I've been doing some research for 2 years now and I think that I have PCOS. I haven't been to a doctor at all since I was about 8 or 9 when I first started going through puberty because we have no insurance and I'm extremely embarrassed and my family isn't really open about talking about things. I can remember starting to shave places like my lower back and stomach when I was going into the 6th grade but I don't remember the hair being so intense, I was, and still am, a perfectionist. Today the hair on my legs is as dark as most of my "normal" female friends armpit/pubic hair and if I grow it out its as bad as a mans leg. My stomach is covered in hair and I absolutely hate it. It looks like the hair a "normal" girl would grow on her legs. My lower back has the same hair, my arms aren't as bad as my legs but the hair is black and I shave it. I have peach fuzz all over my face but it is also a dark brown that I just started shaving. My toes and the top of me feet grow hair. My back grows hair from the nape of my neck down the middle for 5 or 6 inches. Even my boobs grow fine, but dark brown colored hair. Basically all the places "normal" girls grow white blond hair mine is dark brown and my skin is pale so it stands out a lot. I really really really just want it gone forever. I want to be able to have sleep overs with girls and feel comfortable being in my underwear or having someone help me zip up a dress. I want to be able to live with a boy that I'm dating one day and not be hairy or walk around in a crop top during the summer. It seems like everything I've looked into doesn't work like the NONO and an epilator just makes your hair darker. I've heard horrible stories about girls with PCOS getting professional laser hair removal done but it comes back worse or nothing happens. I'm turning 18 in August and I just want to be free. I always think about killing myself because I really hate it so much. I don't understand why this happened to me. I just really need courage to talk to my parents or maybe just go to a doctor on my own or something I have no idea I just want it to go away. The closer I get to my birthday the more depressed I get because I want to go to clubs and actually be intimate with a guy. Please someone tell me how to fucking cure this shit. I feel so insecure. I have a deepish voice and I never feel like a woman. I don't see the point in living with something you hate so much on the outside that is incredibly taboo that you can never fix. I just want to be beautiful free and happy. Please tell me what I can do at least for this summer.

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#104765 - 02/24/13 03:31 AM Re: Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP. [Re: scarlette]
dfahey Offline

Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 10/27/03
Posts: 9586
Loc: Columbus, Ohio
You mentioned you have a deep voice. Find a way to get to a doctor now. If you have a medical reason for having all this hair and deepening voice, that needs to be addressed first. Talk to your family, do some research, talk to a social worker. Many people see doctors and they don't have insurance. In my locale, we have free clinics where medical and health care specialties donate their time to see patients who have no insurance. I know this because two of my family members are involved with such programs.
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Licensed by the State Medical Board of Ohio for Nursing license and Cosmetic Therapy/Electrolysis license
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#104768 - 02/24/13 04:51 AM Re: Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP. [Re: dfahey]
iLikeDIY Offline
Top 20 Contributor

Registered: 04/12/11
Posts: 288
Loc: St. Louis, MO
Wow! This is a very deep subject! First thanks for your post, I know there are a lot of people that feel the same way you do and im 100% sure you're not the only one with this problem smile. I actually wrestled with my body image for a while because what I perceived as excess body hair was perfectly normal for a man. Fortunately I did myself a favor and started electrolysis treatments and I'm just about done.

Anyway! I think before you start to think about hair removal at such a young age, you should probably see a neurologist to check for a chemical imbalance. these feelings and emotions you have have got to be interfering with your school and social life - it's unhealthy. I know, I've been there. remember hair isn't fully done 'sprouting' until your mid 30s so while you make take off a good portion of hair, new follicles could always sprout up.

Remember! You're not alone in this, there have got to be millions of people who have a who hate living everyday because of hair, okay? smile

Edit: ugh, now that I think of it you're actually smarter than me. When I was this young I had no idea that hair removal even existed, at least for you there's a small light at the end of the tunnel now that you have your sights set on it


Edited by iLikeDIY (02/24/13 05:25 AM)
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#106602 - 05/06/13 08:34 PM Re: Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP. [Re: iLikeDIY]
Sparkle78 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/13
Posts: 4
Hi Scarlette,

Thanks for your post.
I can understand what you are going through as i have the same problem with hair growth. When i was your age about 18 i didn't go out to nightclubs because i didn't know what to do if i met boys there and i was hairy but i wanted to go out to clubs like everyone else my age.
Since i've grown older (i'm 35 now), it hasn't got any easier and i've just broke up with my most recent boyfriend because of being hairy and i keep thinking he would be better off with someone else because of that and if i wasn't hairy it would be great as i am madly in love with him.

I don't like it that only men can be hairy & women are supposed to be bald & smooth all over. It's sexist. Women do have hair on them too, it just varies between person to person. Some men don't have hardly any hair on them. My brother is hairy like me and it's ok - he's a boy and he lives with his girlfriend, it is ok for him, it is so unfair, just because i'm a girl i have to shave or wax all over. It's ruining my life. I don't see why normal women have to shave their legs & armpits even or diet etc this is all just normal and natural on women. The hair removal industry is a rip off and makes billions of pounds a year when hair is normal & natural on people & why do men shave their beards even? to copy the way women are with bald faces?

Anyway i would suggest you see your doctor & get a blood test done and an ovary scan - that's what i did before. Try medication out and look into electrolysis & laser treatment.

My problem is all with men & their attitudes towards hairy women if they would like this on women it would be ok for me.

You can't even have pubic hair these days as men see bald women in porn & grow up watching that & expect you to be that way or they'd dump you or just laugh at you.

I'm so fed up with it i'm not having boyfriends anymore - why should i have to get rid of all the hair all the time for sex with men?

The men don't have to do anything except have a bath & clean their teeth & shave their beards which takes 5 minutes a day! so it's too unfair and they show off.

Thanks Sparkle78

ps. it's all sexist nonsense all women are smooth, we need feminists where are they all?

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#106627 - 05/07/13 12:04 PM Re: Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP. [Re: Sparkle78]
wannabehairfree Offline
Member

Registered: 04/14/13
Posts: 6
Hi Scarlette,

I just read your post and wanted to respond to let you know it's not as bad as your think. I am a 31 year old woman and have been battling excess facial and body hair all of my life. I, like you , have dark hair all over. When I was young I would wear long sleeves in the middle of summer, avoid pool parties etc because I was afraid of people seeing how hairy i was. When I would go out with guys I would shave everything so they wouldn't know how hairy I was. There is someone out there who will accept you for who you are, hair and everything. I know because I am now married with two kids and I never thought that would happen. When I was dating my husband I told him I could never marry him because I wouldn't be able to hide how hairy I was. He didn't care and still doesn't care. He accepts me, hair and all. I have done laser and have recently started electrolysis. You can have a normal life and you will. Please don't be discouraged.

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#106632 - 05/07/13 06:36 PM Re: Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP. [Re: wannabehairfree]
fenix Offline
Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 03/17/12
Posts: 451
If you have suicidal thoughts please call toll free 800-273 8255. Speak to a trained professional who can help you on a right path to conquer your struggles. There are many young women out there who struggle with excess hair and PCOS. In fact I started a thread past weekend looking for a doctor for a 14 year old with PCOS and bad facial hair growth. If your family isn't as supportive or there to guide you take your own steps to seek medical help. What issues have kept you from seeing a doctor so far?

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#106633 - 05/07/13 08:27 PM Re: Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP. [Re: fenix]
Michael Bono Online

Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 01/11/11
Posts: 3158
Loc: Santa Barbara, CA USA
This probably won’t make the OP feel much better, but here’s something to think about. In my family, we had “PARTS.”

It would “go” like this. My mother would say, “Look at your father’s feet … they are just perfect.” “Your sister has beautiful shoulders.” Dad would comment on my mother’s beautiful legs and hands. See, we had “parts” and we appreciated them.

Occasionally we would have “Part Appreciation Day.” We would spend some time talking about one amazing part of our body. Once we had “Trachea day!" We talked about what it did and how happy we were that ours were healthy and working perfectly. Indeed, to people who have this "part" unhealthy, life can be miserable. (Smokers?)

We didn’t talk about my sisters limp from having polio, or my dad’s bald head … or focus on other negative aspects; because we had terrific “parts.” (We never talked about my ears.)

I don’t know if this makes any sense to you, but it’s how I was raised and I still appreciate it when my old body works well.

I don’t know who to thank, but I am thankful!

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#106643 - 05/08/13 02:42 PM Re: Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP. [Re: Michael Bono]
Michael Bono Online

Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 01/11/11
Posts: 3158
Loc: Santa Barbara, CA USA
The great thing about excess hair is that you CAN do something about it!

In your case a combination of medical intervention and laser and/or electrolysis will do it. You need to devise a program and then execute the well-thought-out plan.

There are two divergent “schools of thought” on the subject of “changing your body” for feeling good about yourself. Most of my European friends are AGAINST plastic surgery. For example, they always say, “You should accept yourself as you are and overcome these ‘problems' psychologically. Blah blah blah …

That’s NOT my take on it. If you can physically change something that “bothers you,” then, by all means, do it! The reality is that both “counseling” and “physical procedures” work! Sure, you can have years of “therapy” to get over worrying about that “bump” on your nose … or you can have the “bump” removed.

Guess what? In my experience, getting the thing REMOVED works much better, and is FASTER. And NO, the average person does NOT then “go on” to find “something else wrong!” Here’s a real-life example.

My beautiful nephew is actually “drop dead” gorgeous! But his NOSE? Daddy is part American Native, and my nephew is blond/blue (and 6’2”). The "Indian" nose did NOT fit! The parents (were) strict in their religion and against any plastic surgery. Well, well, well …

Nephew lived with me for 3 years and Dr. Chapple “fixed” his nose! (He was an adult and could make his own decision.) Now, the nose totally fits his face (a nice big manly nose), but no “Indian bump”. When he went home, mom immediately noticed … we lied and said it was the result of a “surfing accident.” (Not sure if “sis” really bought the story.)

However, a few weeks later, she told my nephew, “Oh that looks SO MUCH BETTER … I never liked that bump!” Also, my nephew NEVER thinks about his nose any more, and has even forgotten about the surgery. He sees himself as he was “supposed to look."

This also happens with electrolysis. Once the hairs are gone, you never think about it any more. You just feel FREE! It’s a damned liberating thing to do! I was a patient too, so I know this great freedom.

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#106644 - 05/08/13 03:07 PM Re: Suicidal 17 With Excess Body Hair. HELP. [Re: Michael Bono]
ZoeStevens Offline
Major Contributor

Registered: 04/20/10
Posts: 65
Loc: Ontario Canada
I want to second wannabehairfree. Although my problems with excess facial hair is not as bad in comparison, I can definitely confirm that there are people out there who will love you as you are. This becomes more true the older you get. At 17 it is hard to believe, but give yourself 5-6 years or more and you'll see what I mean.

I mean, have you ever seen a hideous, ugly person or a morbidly obese smelly person or a person with a huge birthmark on their face - married? With kids? Holding hands with someone? They all found someone who loves them despite what they hate about themselves.

All you have to do is extend to others the same courtesy you would want extended to yourself, and not shun people who have something weird looking. I don't mean you have to date someone who downright turns you off, OR that you have to seek out the ugliest guy at the party, BUT don't overlook someone for having a big nose or a hairy mole or something. These things are easy to get over. Beside, when you're knocking boots, it all sort of melds together anyway and works out just fine.

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