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#11324 - 08/12/03 08:39 PM please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
blckdove Offline
Member

Registered: 08/12/03
Posts: 18
Loc: NJ
Hi. I'm a 20 year old girl and have the most disgusting hair problem ever. Well, I guess everyone thinks that their hair problem is the worst. But I feel like mine is so embarrassing and disgusting and I've been looking on these message boards and I don't seem to see anyone else with the same problem. I have always had hair problems... but the one that I can't seem to deal with is this disgusting one: I have hair that grows all around my nipples. I get extremely depressed when I think that I have this problem and can't do anything at all about it. To make the problem even more unattractive is that, unlike the other hairs that I pluck on my face/body, the hairs on my breasts - all of them - get ingrown when they grow back. So I am forced to get them out (if I did not get them out you would see the dark lines of the hairs under the skin all over my breasts.) I know you're not supposed to pick as it only makes the problem worse but I just don't know what else to do. To make a long story short, I have lots of unsightly scars and hairs that continue to grow back and get ingrown ALL around my nipples. I tried electrolysis for about 3 months but ended the treatment because it did not seem to be helping (not to mention the amount of money that it cost.) I am so embarrassed about this and it makes it really hard to date, naturally. Does anyone else have this problem? Is there anything I can do that would fix or help this problem? With tweezing, the hairs only grow back and that causes more scarring because I can't bear to leave them ingrown as it's so ugly. I'm only 20 years old and will be scarring myself for the rest of my life only making my breasts uglier and uglier. I wonder what man in the world would ever want to be with a girl with breasts like mine. I would incredibly appreciate any emotional support or advice... there is no one I feel I can talk to about this problem. Thanks so much...

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#11325 - 08/13/03 02:08 AM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
fool Offline
Member

Registered: 08/03/03
Posts: 3
Loc: new york
We seem to have something in common, I've got those hairs too. Although luckily, my thing about picking doesn't extend to my breasts. It must hurt something awful to pick at that!
Maybe you should try a new person for electrolysis. Some are more skilled than others, and it does take patience. I worked on my underarm hair once a week for months, and I'd say I'm down to a third of what I originally had. But my electrologist changed to another salon, and just recently I had a picking relapse. I've been promising myself that I'll make an appointment to start again as soon as it heals, but I think I'm going to call tomorrow to prevent the risk of another bout of picking.
On the bright side, you may have a higher than average tolerance for pain, which means that they can use a higher intensity for electrolysis and get faster results. (This is the only benefit to picking I've ever thought of.) Not every hair is killed the first time, so it may take regular sessions for a while to see an improvement.

Please don't give up! I know it's embarassing, but I was married for years, and my husband loved me even though I picked. If someone really cares about you, they won't want to see you hurting yourself, but it won't ruin the relationship. I think we magnify the importance of ingrown hairs all out of proportion. Even the scabs, although not pretty, are probably not as bad as we think they are. Lately I've been trying to look at the darker areas that indicate an ingrown hair on my legs and think, "anyone but me would just assume that's just a freckle. It's OK to leave it alone." I'll bet the same is true of the hairs you see under the skin around your nipples; who else is going to look at them up close under bright light and see those hairs? But the scabs and scars are going to stand out a lot more.

Anything that's effecting your self-esteem so much has to be dealt with. I sometimes wonder if part of my problem with picking is because I want reasons to keep people away as much as I want to be close to them. You have to deal with the emotional issues as well as the hair.
I hope this helps; I feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one with this problem and I hope you do too.

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#11326 - 08/15/03 04:32 AM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
blckdove Offline
Member

Registered: 08/12/03
Posts: 18
Loc: NJ
Ah finally someone who understands the need to pick!! I have a similar problem when it comes to my skin (I have skin that is very prone to clogged pores and breakouts.) I used have the problem (the picking obsession) really bad when I was younger although now I've learned the rules of picking, lol. But when it comes to ingrown hairs I soo have to get them out... I think it's because I have them so much, the hairs, for causing people like us so much grief, and I think they have absolutely no right to be there, so (at the time) I just want them out no matter what the cost (i.e. scabs, redness.) After I'm done picking I get really down because I see what I've done to myself. The same goes for picking at my skin. Although recently I've gotten a lot better at not beating myself up about picking at my skin. But anyway... so I TOTALLY understand what you mean about the need to pick. Believe me. I also know what you mean about the possibility of wanting to keep people away. I've definitely thought about that.

I'm probably going to go back to an electrolygist when I have the money. But in the meantime I think I'm going to order the do-it-yourself One Touch machine. I know this is not recommended but I just can't afford professional electrolysis at this time and the other drawback was that I had redness and scabs (lots of them) that lasted pretty much up until the next session of electrolysis (I have since heard that this isn't the normal case and that perhaps I went to an under-skilled electrolygist.) Anyway, it was really depressing and it made me feel really ugly. I guess the problem does make me feel ugly a lot of the time but when it's really red and inflamed it's when I feel the ugliest (I guess that's obvious.) Did you book your electrolysis appointment like you were thinking about doing?

Anyway, thanks for your reply. My best friend in high school couldn't understand the picking obsession and she didn't try to either. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one, as I'm sure you feel as well! But you're right... we probably blow the ingrown hairs and the scabs out of proportion. That's nice to know!!

Thanks again... I was so blessed to find this forum. It is amazing to have people to talk to who completely understand.

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#11327 - 08/17/03 10:23 PM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
IHH Offline
Top Ten Contributor

Registered: 01/08/03
Posts: 249
Loc: Australia
Like all obsessive or addictive behaviours, we can bring ourselves around to changing if we take small steps... Here is what I would suggest you consider...

Say to yourself that you are not going to pick your nipple hairs (put a sign on the bathroom mirror if you need to remind yourself), but instead, just trim them close to the surface of the skin. Then, go go and find a good electrologist to work on them for you... it sounds like the previous one had no idea and has set you back further... If you are not in a relationship then the hairs will only be apparent to you, and you will be strong enough to work with your electrologist to solve this problem permanently.

If you can show this amount of self control, and then see the results, then you can apply it to other areas of your body, one step at a time...

I think a few will relate to the picking obsession... I know I cannot let an ingrown live any longer once I spot it... it is out with the needle and tweezers...

You could also try exfoliating and other simple treatments to the area to discourage ingrowns...

Remember too, that your worth as a woman is not measured by the appearance of your nipples... PM me if you want me to relate a story to you that I would rather not put out in public, even here amongst friends...

Good luck, and hugs,

David

[ August 17, 2003, 03:25 PM: Message edited by: IHH ]

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#11328 - 08/21/03 08:11 PM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
babyblue Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/03
Posts: 30
Loc: Philadelphia, pa
you are not alone Blackdove. i pick and pick and pick. Like Fool, though, i don't pick at my breast...hurts too much. i do shave, which is probably not good either. i found a wonderful man, who doesn't care about my outer apperance. he tells me i am beautiful..inside and out. i've only been on this forum about 2 weeks, and believe me, it has totally brought my spirits up! made me realize that 1)i'm not alone in this world, and there are people like me who have the same physical problems. 2)there is good, HONEST help out there and i just have to poke around to find it. good luck blackdove..and if you ever want to chat..shoot me a private message! [Smile]

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#11329 - 08/29/03 02:20 AM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
chatterley Offline
Member

Registered: 07/21/02
Posts: 7
Loc: New York City
There is a product called Tend Skin specifically advertised to reduce or eliminate ingrown hairs and razor bumps that one electrologist I spoke with swears by. I've no knowledge of this product, but you can check out their website at www.tendskin.com. It is available at Bloomie Nails in Manhattan (7th Ave/23rd) for example.
I empathize with your issue but have to say from a man's perspective that hair around the nipples is completely normal and actually more the norm and not in the least a decision maker when it comes to relationships. I am very anti-hair for myself and am undergoing electrolysis on my chest among other areas. The practitioner has devoted quite a lot of time to my nipples yet it seems to take forever. This is a strongly biased group, but you must recognize that hair/no hair is very much a personal choice. Think about 45 year old men with combovers versus 24 year old chrome domes.If you want permanent results, electrolysis is the only way to go and you really just have to devote yourself and allow time to run its course (I've been going at it since late January - 7 months - and though the results are great and the end is in sight, there is still a way to go). Tempting it may be, but please avoid the damage to your skin caused by pinching. You must be a beautiful person to care about your appearance so much, so treat your youth with respect and you will have many wonderful years ahead. I wish I'd taken this up 10 years ago but couldn't afford it either. Still, thanks to forums like this we all have a much better jumping off point.

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#11330 - 09/19/03 08:36 AM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
yb Offline

Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 02/03/03
Posts: 399
Loc: New York, NY
Women with excess hair should see their endocrinologist or at least a gyn to test for serious medical conditions.
If that is ruled out, good.

I cannot see why the hair on a woman's nipples takes so long to permanently remove. There cannot be that much hair to begin with (relatively), and you should be cleared every at session. And you should be permanently done in no time ;o)

The only reason for such inefficiency is a bad electrologist. Read www.hairfacts.com about how to find a good electrologist, or for referrals visit the referral forum or even better the electrolysis forum.

Your hair problem is not all that bad as some others that I know, and I know plenty of ppl that would like to be in your situation (like myself). The real problem is how you take your hair problem. It is very important to always maintain positive self image and do all you can not to fall into the trap of depression.
So enjoy life and yourself! And as I said, your hair issue is not such a big deal. Just find the right technician.

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#11331 - 09/19/03 01:02 PM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
James W. Walker VII Offline

Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 06/03/02
Posts: 8052
Loc: Buffalo NY, & Traveling the US...
I personally have never had a client with hair on the nipples, or entire breast for that matter that I could not clear each and every session.

That means that all my breast clients got the look of being finished from day one. All they needed then was to see me on a schedule that allowed me to remove the next batch of hairs before they got the chance to notice them, and they were just visiting me, while I kept them from having anything to fret over, and they finshed in 9 to 12 months, and did not even need weekly appointments for that problem.

Of course, many of my clients do choose to have weekly appointments, because they decide to expand the number of areas we are clearing, so we are just working different areas each week.

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#11332 - 10/02/03 12:14 AM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
Kilimanjaro Offline
Member

Registered: 10/13/02
Posts: 22
Loc: Ohio
The first poster said:

"I wonder what man in the world would ever want to be with a girl with breasts like mine"

Don't take it too badly when I tell you that you are acting even more immature and inexperienced than your 20 yrs age.

It is true that many guys will only ask a girl out if she is decent looking. However, one single item is never a deciding factor. Especially hidden breasts!! I have found girls who had almost no breasts to be good looking. A guy will judge your looks while you are clothed.

Tv shows these days make you think that breasts and showing half of them in the open is what its all about and what makes you a woman and attractive. That is bs. You should really not allow yourself to get carried away with this. As it is, the boobs you see on tv are usually fake, and who knows if the person showing them shaved them five mins before showing them to the whole world.

You should try to get hair removed from your breasts if it makes you feel better. But don't think that guys are so shallow as to not be attracted to you for one such reason.

By the way, I am not female -- you can hopefully guess what I am.

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#11333 - 01/17/04 06:18 AM Re: please say i'm not alone with THIS problem...
blackbird1643 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/16/04
Posts: 3
Loc: bayonne
Dear Kilimanjaro,

This e-mail is in response to something you posted a while back (I just read it now.) I included the text of your message at the bottom of this e-mail. I am the "original poster."

I did not mean to offend men or call them shallow in my post. If I made you feel that way then I truly apologize. At the time, I was actually thinking less about men and more about how much I hated my body. In addition, the judgment you made about me being immature for feeling repulsive is completely wrong (not to mention unfair!)

Perhaps you might be one of the few people lucky enough to never have felt so low as to really honestly think that no one of the opposite sex (or same sex depending on your preference) could ever want you. I have friends in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s and, believe it or not, they have all felt this feeling at some point regardless of the age that they were at the time (I can recall specific conversations with each of them involving this exact feeling.) So I must correct you in your thinking that this feeling of self-disgust has ANYTHING at all to do with age, maturity, or experience.

I do in fact realize that this feeling of self-disgust is irrational. However, I only believe that when I am NOT feeling ugly. If THAT was what you meant to say in your last e-mail then please know that I do agree with that statement.

(blkdove/blackbird1643)

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