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#12216 - 12/30/02 05:10 AM A grumpy visitor attacks!
Andrea Offline founder
Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 03/22/02
Posts: 4158
Loc: Los Angeles
I rarely get angry mail unless it's from manufacturers who get HairFacts warnings, but here's a lovely one I got just two days after Christmas. Apparently has a problem with my donation page:


I could understand a $1.00 or $2.00, but $50,$100,$250???? What the hell is on your mind???? YOu are just as bad or even more so than the companies and people you are fighting against..That is really sad...If you want to help people help them, but don't put a fucking price on your help!!!!! I have a saying...What goes around comes around..If you do good and it's from the heart, good things will follow you...If you do bad then you will get fucked sooner or later...If you claim to do good but want money in return that is call stealing and nothing good will come out of this for you..If you can't take care of your kitties then give them to someone that can.....When u look in the mirror do you like what you see????????????????

Here's my response:


Hi Trisie--

I am truly sorry I offended you so deeply with my request for donations on my free website. Please allow me to explain, in hopes that I will have your understanding and approval by the end of this letter.

Some readers save over $10,000 visiting my site and avoiding the more expensive scams. After a few of them asked how they could send me money, I set up ways for people to help cover my costs if they wished. This is the way I make my living. If it were in book form, it would be OK to sell my research and writing for money, right? Well, my site is like a free book, and I make my living from people who send money because they were helped. Itís a lot like shareware software, except that itís a website. Some people feel they get $1 worth of help from my site, and others feel they get $500 worth of help. If someone stopped me from wasting $10,000, I would give them a very generous reward.

You have a rather bizarre idea of what stealing is. My site is set up like a museum or public television station. All the information is completely free for those who canít afford to pay, but those who found it helpful and have the means are encouraged to support projects like mine. Donations are voluntary, and you have access to the same information whether you are one of my generous readers who donates $20 or more, or someone like you who donates $0 and still has the nerve to whine about how I make a living. By your half-baked definition, PBS is stealing every time they show Sesame Street or NOVA during a pledge drive.

We are in complete agreement that what goes around comes around. I especially believe this is true about unprovoked nastiness from clueless little jerks like yourself. People like you make the world a little less pleasant, spreading your pathetic bitterness.

See? Youíre right! What goes around comes around! I hope I have your understanding and approval now. Itís oh so very important to me.

Merry belated Christmas! I hope you wake up in a better mood tomorrow.


I encourage all readers to send the author a reply at:

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#12217 - 01/01/03 09:52 AM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
skopie Offline

Registered: 10/03/02
Posts: 25
Loc: New Jersey
I stumbled across this site and thought wow, this is great! I don't know Andrea but I do know that what she is doing is wonderful. If she needs the time to research products, maintain this site and keep all the advertisements out. Then she does need support. If she makes a living helping others, that is a good thing!

#12218 - 01/02/03 09:53 AM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
Andrea Offline founder
Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 03/22/02
Posts: 4158
Loc: Los Angeles
Grumpy visitor attacks again! Silly little troll!

Try your bullshit with someone else!!! Clueless jerk I think not....It's funny how you say you are sorry that I don't understand your logic,but then turn around and call me names....Nice....Oh and the world is a wonderful place regardless of who lives in it,...I have the right to disagree with you and express my opinion, now if you can't deal with that then I am sorry...p.s. Christmas was great!!!!!

#12219 - 01/03/03 02:06 AM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
James W. Walker VII Offline

Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 06/03/02
Posts: 8055
Loc: Buffalo NY, & Traveling the US...
You know, I have been asked by many, many people; "If Andrea is so good, and kind, and only doing this stuff out of the kindness of her heart, then why is she always begging for money these days" or some variation of Andrea is a greedy bitch because she makes it possible for people to donate to the web sites here and on the sister sites.

I can only guess that these people don't know what band width and daily maintenance on such an endeavor costs!
I guess they also don't understand that someone who saves him or herself a few thousand dollars might want to say thank you with a dollar or two. Of course, if this were The Church of the Devine Andrea, no one would question any monetary solicitations. [Mad]

#12220 - 01/03/03 05:11 AM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
hb2002 Offline

Registered: 01/02/03
Posts: 2
Loc: Toronto
The message from Trisie was laughable. Some people just don't get it and obviously Trisie is one of them. I too run a service oriented business. From time to time people will ask why I charge a fee. I'll say well, I have advertising expenses, staff, telephones etc.

I once had a customer say "well I'm not going to pay for your advertising and telephone. That's ridiculous. Why would I pay for these things. I don't benefit from them so why should I pay a fee that covers these expenses."

"Ummm, well Ms. Customer of Mine, that's how business works. Then I said, when you go to Sears, the products you buy are marked up so you are helping to pay rent, staff, postage, etc. etc." She replies "I am not".

Sometimes it just isn't worth the effort to try and explain some things to someone. Trisie and Ms. Customer of Mine are just two of those people.

#12221 - 01/05/03 02:39 AM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
shiner Offline

Registered: 12/29/02
Posts: 2
Loc: Central Florida
there is sssooooo much bitterness in the world today. Andrea, keep up the good work. You are providing people with some outstanding information on this site and for someone like "Trisie" to enter your site and express such anger and rudeness is ridiculous. Andrea, great response to Trisie's little rampage.

#12222 - 04/08/03 05:39 PM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
happyjenny Offline

Registered: 04/08/03
Posts: 7
Loc: New York City
Andrea: I just sent you $20 and was thrilled to do it. Your site saved me time, angst, scars and pain, not to mention MONEY. As a result of finding your site a year ago, I embarked on a course of electrolysis that has changed me and my life. I was really happy to find that you had implemented such an easy way to send you a donation to help keep your awesome site up and running. (I've had your address tacked up in my apartment for a year and haven't managed to snailmail you a donation--eek!)

You don't serve ads. You don't sell your info. You provide a fantastic service. As I've said in emails to you -- I think your site is the embodiment of the Internet's purpose. I have no problem helping to support the continued success of your site, since you're investing back into it (having visited a year ago and then today, this is obvious) for the sake of all the hair facts-starved people out there searching for help.

My one suggestion: Next time a snotty brat like Trisie sends/posts hate mail, don't spend your time composing a big response or working yourself up over the brat's crap. Although you make many good points in your reply, Trisie types are just hateful and can't (or don't want to) see your logic. Go for one or two lines instead: "If you don't agree with the practice of soliciting donations to maintain, please feel free to ignore this element of the site. In the meantime, I hope you find useful information about hair removal."

P.S. Hope the kitties are doing well. Perhaps you should start for the real skinny on cat food, litter, health care, grooming and more?

#12223 - 04/13/03 02:37 PM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
Andrea Offline founder
Top 10 Contributor

Registered: 03/22/02
Posts: 4158
Loc: Los Angeles
It's great to know that there are so many people who are willing to share their experiences, and that we have readers like you, happyjenny, who support this project financially as well! The kitties say thanks! [Big Grin]

My little kitty was very underweight, but the vet has her on special food that has helped. The problem is her big sister tries to eat it all and is getting FAT!

I wish i had time to do a CatFacts site-- I love cats, but I'm already spread too thin!

Again, thanks for the kind words and support! Readers like you make sites like this possible!

#12224 - 08/13/03 06:13 AM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
blckdove Offline

Registered: 08/12/03
Posts: 18
Loc: NJ
Trisie is an angry, angry person. I read her original e-mail and her anger seemed to be way, way over the top for what she was upset about. And I as well as the majority of others would most likely agree that there is nothing wrong with Andrea posting a page for people who would like to give donations... it's not like she's demanding money!!! And I am AMAZED at the amount of time that Andrea puts into this website... nearly every single post has a response from Andrea. That f*cking amazes me.

Andrea's response was mostly great... although the message to be delivered was probably clouded by the anger that Andrea showed in the end of the letter (especially when she called Trisie and clueless little jerk.)
I think that the best way to respond to an e-mail like Trisie's would have been to make it as kind and anger-free as possible (easier said than done, I know.) This way, Trisie would have had no reason to be angry in her second e-mail, and if she had shown anger, she would have come across as a real jerk!!! And even more, Andrea's anger would not have clouded her e-mail's main message to Trisie.

Many people don't know what to do when you respond to their anger with love... I know it's hard to do (I certainly am not able to do it all of the time.) But it really makes them think, you know? And you don't let them get you... and that really bugs them!!!

Anyway... just some thoughts. Personally, I love Andrea for what she has done. I have been depressed about my hair problem for so long and I just found this website today. For the first time in ages I do not feel like a freak! I didn't have anyone to talk to about my problem either, so that made me feel even worse. But now I have hundreds of people to talk to for emotional support, advice, or anything! This is a HUGE blessing, this site. Andrea, you are a goddess!! You are saving so many people. And, for the record, I am definitely planning on donating money! Why wouldn't I??? (It just might be a while... I'm currently a the cliche broke college student!)

#12225 - 08/29/03 07:37 AM Re: A grumpy visitor attacks!
snaffle Offline

Registered: 08/23/03
Posts: 32
Loc: Northern California
Considering all the scams, shams and quacks out there fleecing people out of loads of money for hair removal, it's refreshing to find a site that is pro consumer. This is information very much worth paying for. Some people have absolutely no respect for the value of information.

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