Depressed

Hair Removal Methods Professional Electrolysis
1

Hi guys,

I used to frequent these boards a couple years ago. Since then, I have yet to see a doctor about my acne scars or my hair removal issues.

To explain some backstory - out of high school, I had some LightSheer laser hair removal done. I did sustain some burns that eventually healed without scarring. I noticed improvement as well but my doctor was treating me every week - which I later learned was completely wrong since hair grows in cycles and he was missing hairs doing this. I basically paid him for nothing and I never completed the treatments.

This was 2003.

3 years later I began using Retin A micro. Keep in mind, I had no acne really (i wanted to get rid of some blackheads only). I had no scars. But I had some issues, like I’d see problems that weren’t there… this made me withdrawn. I’m not even bad looking or anything, just self conscious (at the time).

Anyway, I ended up w/ a icepick scar on my face that basically destroyed my year…I was THAT fixated on it. Sad and funny thing is now I barely notice it. However, during the 2nd half of that year, in the Spring - I slacked off in school. I began looking into more treatments. I came across Fraxel.

The doctor promised me results and said I was a good candidate. It was a very posh place, his office. He was a professional for sure, a derm w/ lots of training. His wife was also in the business. But looking back - he screwed me over. The ice pick can’t be fixed w/ fraxel…and I had nothing else wrong w/ me at that time.

I only got 1 fraxel. During the downtime, I had a pimple on the left side of my face. It blew up, and I couldn’t leave it alone. I picked the scab…and it basically got worse. It left a hypetrophic scar…

This scar can vanish during the day after I wake up cuz the skin is more plump. It blends in. But after I shower, it’s super visible. It’s so ugly and pulls the skin surrounding it, inward.

I’m dark-skinned btw…

This is 2007 now. In the fall/winter, I go to another hair removal place.

They seemed ok too. The doc specialized w/ dark skinned patients…

But it only got worse. This was like 3-4 months after fraxel. I only had one fraxel because it was a horrible experience and I ended up w/ the hypertrophic scar later on as a result of my compulsive picking…

So anyway, during the downtime between passes while the doc is lasering me w/ the yag laser - her assistant sprayed me w/ mist…

Flash forward to the downtime after the treatment, at home.

I began noticing that the left side of my face is completely uneven in depth, and there are tiny folicle size holes…

It’s liek the entire left side is riddled w/ these tiny holes. This is also where the scar is. It’s so ugly.

Well, it’s been 3 years now. The past decade almost has been one failed treatment after another w/ nothing but worsening skin.

I had no problems, but i created them for myself. I’m just depressed now. I don’t know how to cope w/ the face I have. I miss my old one. Before all this stupid vanity treatments.

If I had waited, stuck w/ school and just looked at stuff more in-depth, maybe I’d be scar free.

To give you an idea - my skin texture is so different now. I have folicle size holes all over my face.

And to top it off, a tiny hypertrophic scar…

To be honest, and since I probably won’t ever see any of you guys…I often don’t want to live anymore. I’m no longer my old self. And I hav to take on all these treatments JUST to get back to where I was. It’s not worth it. I have no motivation in life now because i feel like a different person w/ all these pock marks/uneven pigmentation/scars/unfinished hair removal/etc…

sorry for the rant, im feeling low so whatever…

2

just to add another set of pics:

these are not me, but the explain what i meant by uneven depth of skin

http://www.locateadoc.com/pictures/skincare-celibrelaser-20117.html

mine is not as bad, but that’s essentially the same problem i have. plus i have small holes everywhere

3

I can’t see anything specific in the first link. The second one shows a man with acne scars. The rest of his face looks normal…they’re just pores. Some people’s pores are larger than others’. It’s not abnormal and I doubt you did anything to make it worse.

Are you male or female? Are there any hair problems that bother you currently?

Also, have you considered seeing someone for potential therapy? These types of things usually have to do with other stuff…i.e. you overconcentrate on various things to deal with other issues. It could be helpful to talk to a specialist…You never know. It could help to talk to someone.

4

The first link is a linear hypertrophic scar.

Yea, I agree I focus on them too much. TBH, I haven’t had any meaningful meetings w/ any kind of doctor (plastic surgeon/cosmetic dermatologist/etc.). I’ve had 3 appointments. 1 was a family friend so I suspect they’d be worried. Another didn’t even know what subcision was. And the third, I kept cancelling on til my parents spoke to him about my situation, which probably got him nervous.

I’d like to meet a doctor who has experience + been successful with minor scar revision surgeries.

I’ve done a lot of research and I think I could fix all my minor imperfections except for that one big scar…

And yea, I wanted electroylsis but after seeing even light skinned people here w/ scarring, it’s too scary to consider. I really want to try it but I think my bad luck will strike again…

5

Millions upon millions of people (and one dog that I know of) have had electrolysis. Scarring is rare. If you think it is too scary and you are extremely nervous about electrolysis, then I’m sure most electrologists would be very relieved to not get involved with clients who are too anxiety ridden. We are not inclined or qualified to assist in such matters - we just want to do our thing and remove hair.

With proper counseling, perhaps you can overcome your fears and then move on with hair removal. The first picture was not a quality picture and I have no comment. I’m sure you are a beautiful person inside and outside. It is fine to rant here. We try to listen carefully and give honest opinions, so I hope you take no offense.

6

You would only get scarring from electrolysis if you went to someone who does not know what they are doing. It is unfortunate that you spent so much time and money and did not achieve good results.

If electrolysis is done properly you WILL get super results. What state do you live in? There are licensed states and unlicensed states. The major factor is if you are not seeing a reduction in hair growth after 3-6 months of treatments you should find someone else.

7

Thanks for the advice guys.

You don’t know me, so this will seem strange. I did try to deal w/ my problems and scars but ultimately I lost. It’s so messed up because I use to be normal - no scars, nothing. When I began doing all these laser hair treatments is when the problems began.

I changed the texture of my skin and from what I’ve read, using laser frequently (missing hairs) will help make dormant hairs grow. I have enlarged pores where they didn’t usually exist. I have hairs high up inward on my cheeks. It’s just so weird how this all happened.

I’ve come to accept I can’t improve myself and at 25, it’s basically eaten up an important part of my life. I’m just going to give up now. Sry, I know it’s weird hearing some random person say this but since my problems began, I became somewhat of a hermit.

8

LDLD, have you attempted to see a dermatologist to correct the problems you listed? I am assuming you already have, but if you haven’t, I would suggest giving that a try. Also, how did you try to deal with the scars? Are you talking about topical creams? Fade creams?

9

LDLD- Sorry about how badly things went for you. I turn 25 tomorrow, and I am VERY depressed about how much of my life has been eaten up by my efforts to look pretty or normal. It’s like a never-ending up-hill battle. I’m already halfway to fifty (a quarter of a century old!!!) and I look worse than ever. I am also a hermit for the most part, and I know what it feels like to lose hope and be too depressed to even deal with it anymore. I hope you feel better and that your scars heal. Good luck.

10

To all of you, I fully relate.

I’ve become quite a hermit too (again) this past year too due to the major mess my neck has become since starting (amateur) electrolysis. It was a small mess before from shaving rashes and occasional in-growns (acne) but it’s been a disaster zone for about 8 months now; starting off with bad treatments from local beauticians… lots of big red sores, cystic ingrowns taking months to resolve.

Gradually I am making progress on my neck though - with pros in another city. And I have seen great results on other parts of my body from electro.

But the total brain zapper, the life destroyer, is not that - it’s not the sores - it’s the attitude of feeling “I am not good enough, I am not worthy to have fun or be out with … friends… etc”

I went out last Saturday night to see some old old friends at the pub. I planned a short early night. Later - at their urging - I ended up at the nightclubs. (I used to DJ a lot.)

I was dressed like crap. And I hadn’t shaved in days. My neck is covered in red sores and scabs (from recent galvanic multiprobe). I cover it up with high neck tops (itchy!)

And my old club friends, they were over the moon to see me. I’ve been avoiding them for about 8 months now.

They didn’t care about my sores except that I am suffering over them.

Similarly, I feel like I lost my entire 20s to worrying … about going bald (after taking a certain anti-acne drug well known to trigger that). When I turned about 32 I thought “Sod this not living life stuff! I’m going to live dammit!”

And so I went out again regularly, and had a truly amazing 4 years… with a mission to spread happiness and joy… sort of on hold a bit while my present (mental) issues resolve! :wink:

I wasn’t unattractive because I was bald. I was unattractive because I thought I was ugly and so I projected that in my walk, my poise etc.

I wasn’t having a bad time because I was bald. I was having a bad time of life because of the belief I took on about myself. I was closed to and hid from and said not to opportunities.

On this note, I saw a great movie last night called “The YES man” with Jim Carrey. See it! :slight_smile:

But when I decided “I am worthwhile! I am hot with a shaved head! My lack of head hair does not matter!” that’s how so many others perceived me too.

And the great times began… When I changed my beliefs.

Make the most of what you’ve got.

And 25 is YOUNG!!!

I would LOVE to be 25 again - 13 extra years to live life in! :wink:

Similarly I know people with major acne - far worse than I ever had it - and people with great hair problems than I, who are going out having a great time of life.

Other people don’t care so much about how we look. They care much more about how we make them feel.

Anyway, I hope this gives you hope. I’ve been at total rock bottom. I often feel it now.

Just stick with it, your plan, and most of all shaping an attitude that you are worth while and deserve to enjoy life.